If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
