I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
