So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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