I have demons in me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
