The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
