Christians are straight up FREAKS
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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