what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think my fart just growled at me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
