You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
