yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
