But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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