just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I still have a little drunk in my system
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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