ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
