Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
