return my video game
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
