dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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