ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
