I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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