Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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