That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
