I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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