I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
