At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
