Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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