I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
