I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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