where am i from again
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
