Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
