I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
