from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
