was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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