I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
