Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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