I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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