Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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