Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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