my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
