someone owes me an orgasm
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
