thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
