Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
