i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
