everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
