The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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