We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
