I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
