I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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