Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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