but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
