I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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