White coat. Heels.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
