I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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