Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
