You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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