...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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