When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
